This 4th of July Canadians should just shut up because . . .

As a follow-up (okay rebuttal) to my Canada Day post “This 4th of July Americans need to embrace their Canadianess, or why America should just become Canada’s 11th Province already,” here is why Canadians should just “zip it” in terms of comparisons between our two countries:

  1. You didn’t win the War of 1812 . . . you weren’t even a nation until 1867
  2. You name your money after a cartoon series featuring Bugs Bunny
  3. Yeah you win at hockey but so what . . . you are covered in ice for 11 months of the year – it would be sad if you didn’t
  4. It would take America 12 minutes to win a war with Canada . . . including a 10 minute coffee break
  5. Our high school football teams draw bigger crowds to their games than your professional teams
  6. Your flag looks like the wrapper from a restaurant mint
  7. Your national animal is the beaver . . . nothing more needs to be said
  8. Bob and Doug McKenzie are your deep thinkers
  9. You think that British comedy is actually funny
  10. You have socialized medicine

All-in-all America should hold its head high this 4th of July as the true home of the brave and land of the free!  A nation where mom still makes the best apple pie, and Horatio Alger dreams can be pursued and realized.

In the immortal words of Kate Smith . . . God Bless America!


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