This 4th of July Americans need to embrace their Canadianess, or why America should just become Canada’s 11th Province already
With the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold Obamacare it is now becoming abundantly clear that Americans are more Canadian than they may think.
Against this backdrop of socialized medicine here are the Top Ten reasons why the U.S. should become Canada’s 11th Province and adopt the mighty Maple Leaf as its new flag.
10. The Canadian beaver which as June Callwood described it is “a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off its own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees,” is far more interesting as a national symbol than America’s eagle.
9. Canadian politics are polite affairs featuring dim-witted politicians, as opposed to American politics which are contentious and divisive battles between mean-spirited candidates.
8. Canada already beat America in the War of 1812 . . . don’t make us cross the 49th again!
7. Canada won more gold medals than the U.S. in the last Winter Olympics.
6. Hollywood is already predominantly Canadian.
5. Americans would have unlimited access to Tim Horton’s coffee, beaver tails and poutine.
4. As the second largest land mass in the world, Canada would enable Americans to spread out a little and perhaps not get on each others nerves as much as they do now.
3. In France the French are more polite to Canadians.
2. Better fishing and hunting . . . although fishing rods and guns are tightly regulated up here.
1. With Obamacare Americans are about as Canadian as you can get!
So on this 4th of July, it is time to dissolve the largest undefended border in the world and have our cousins to the south stand-up and proudly sing Oh Canada . . . besides aren’t you tired of getting your behinds whipped in hockey . . .