Sometimes it’s water and sometimes it’s ice . . .
You take water, for example. Sometimes it’s water, sometimes it’s ice. Sometimes it’s steam, vapor. It always the same old H2O. It only changes its properties. Your mother’s like that. She’s like water.
The above line is from the 1994 picture Blue Sky in which Tommy Lee Jones’ character tries to explain to his children why he loves their mother despite the fact that her instability and irrational behavior wreaks havoc for him both personally and professionally.
Since Jennifer’s admittance to hospital last week in what may turn out to be a long stay, she has sounded happier than I have ever known her to be. In fact, she said that she feels like she is back in high school and that she is making friends, talking with the other patients about different nurses (the ones they like and the ones they don’t like), talking about their Bipolar experiences as well as going outside for a group smoke.
I guess that her acceptance of her illness meant that she could stop struggling with trying to live in the real world and finally be herself. In this regard I feel a peace that she has found her comfort zone.
After all, the world can be a cruel and particularly harsh place for those who have through a collision of circumstances – most of which is beyond their control as the seeds of disconnected realities are often planted during the innocence of early childhood, find themselves ill prepared and ill equipped to deal with the demands of everyday life.
Like the water analogy in the movie even though Jennifer’s condition (re properties) have changed, and with it the course of our relationship as I have now become as much of a caregiver as a partner, she is now and will always be my . . . Pooh Bear. Water and ice, in the end it is still the same H2O.